Big Fat Queer

October 28, 2010

A Re-Start

Filed under: Eat Less; Move More — bigfatqueer @ 11:49 pm

This evening I had some hummus and raw vegetables and a small fruit salad. It was tasty and I don’t feel hungry. I don’t feel full, but full often makes me tired. The disadvantage to not feeling full is that I should be asleep now, but I am wide awake. Well, as Rosanne Rosanadana said “It’s always something.”


Filed under: Eat Less; Move More — bigfatqueer @ 1:26 pm

I grew up in Southern Baptist culture, and when someone who has professed to have been “saved” starts sinning again, they are said to be “backsliding”. It sounds a bit like spiritual luge. Anyway, as regards food, I am a backslider.

A couple of nights ago in a chat room frequented by some who read this, a friend (and you know who you are, Boomer) asked me a question that exposed something I already knew, but was not acknowledging – even to myself. She asked if learning the good news about my stress test (showing my coronary arteries are clear of any obstruction) had made it harder for me to stick to healthy eating. She hit the nail on the head. Fear is a great motivator. And although my heart seems healthy, the weight does lead to many other problems: diabetes, hypertension, mobility problems, joint pain…

In the few weeks since the report, I have been eating whatever I wanted at the moment, which includes some disgusting, yet tasty, things. Lots of animal fat and starches and the occasional sweets, and the occasional alcohol. I have not been a heavy drinker in 20 years, but I do like alcoholic beverages. My insulin doses have gone up commensurately as well as my weight. I haven’t been on the scales, but I can tell. Also, for the last few days I know my blood pressure has been elevated. There is one of my bp meds that I cut in half (one pill instead of two) when I lost weight. This morning I upped it to the old dosage. I feel better physically, but I know I’m going backwards and need to turn it around again.

Not blogging regularly has also taken my eye off the ball. So thanks, Boomer, for giving me a little poke to remind me of what my goals are. And to anyone else, feel free to help keep me in line. Changing lifelong habits is not something easily done alone.

October 17, 2010

Indian Greek Lamburger

Filed under: Eat Less; Move More — bigfatqueer @ 9:24 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Last night I ordered some Indian vegetarian food (vegetable korma and a nice cauliflower and tomato stew). A very nicely herbed piece of naan bread was included in the order, but I saved it and didn’t eat it. Tonight I warmed the naan up in the oven and filled it with grilled ground lamb seasoned with salt, pepper and ground cinnamon. If I make it again, which I probably will, I think some pine nuts mixed in would be good. On one side of the bread I spread curry mayonnaise, with a little Sriracha for heat, and on the other side I spread tzadziki. I added some sliced tomatoes and red onions and it was delicious. I used pre-made tzadziki from the store, but next time I think I will make it myself. I like my homemade version better. On the side I had a small Greek salad.

October 16, 2010

Going “Off The Grid”, Sort Of

Carribean Princess, originally uploaded by FantasticBabblings.

I went to Staten Island today to shoot some footage of the departure of the Carribnean Princess cruise ship. Winds were gusting up to 50 mph, probably more on the harbor, so only about 20% of what I shot is usable due to camera vibration. But some of it is good and I didn’t need a lot. I did get the still shot above.

I have a bit of a cold. I almost didn’t go out today. From now until the end of the year I will probably be working nights and several weekends. I don’t expect to be blogging much or making videos or anything much other than working and trying to get some rest in between. So if you don’t see much of me online, don’t be surprised. Everything is okay.

I had a follow up visit with my doctor this week to review all of the tests I have had over the last couple of months. It seems in spite of everything I am in pretty good healthy. The weight is a problem, but the things it engenders (apnea, diabetes and hypertension) are all under control. My heart is healthy. I have been checked for the major cancers and at this time there is no indication of anything. So I feel pretty good about that.

This week I have eaten relatively well with one off day (cheeseburger and milkshake). I have walked an average of a mile and a half each day. This morning I had a piece of rye toast with cream cheese. This afternoon I had a large bowl of Cantonese vegetable noodle soup, but I discarded the noodles and had vegetables and broth. I don’t know what I am having for dinner, but I will figure it out soon.

I will blog from time to time, but if I am missing, it means I’m just working hard. See you soon.

October 9, 2010

Governor’s Island

Lower Manhattan from Governor’s Island , originally uploaded by FantasticBabblings.

I went to Governor’s Island today. It is located in New York Harbor about half a mile off the tip of Manhattan and about a quarter mile west of Brooklyn. I have wanted to go there for years, seeing it from the Staten Island Ferry or the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. For much of its history, even during the Dutch and British periods, it has been a military base and a military prison and most recently headquarters for the U.S. Coast Guard. In 1995 the Coast Guard closed operations there and in 2002 New York City made a deal with the U.S. government to buy the island for one dollar (I could have offered more) to be developed for public use. A master plan has been proposed for a public park and waterfront promenade. The island has stunning views of Manhattan, New Jersey, Brooklyn, The Statue of Liberty and NY Harbor.

It has been open to the public for a while, and it is only accessible by ferry. This weekend was the last chance to go for a while. I had wanted to shoot the departure of a cruise ship from the Brooklyn docks, but due to subway construction and much detours, I was about a half hour late. I did see the ship in the distance as it passed under the Verazzano Bridge to the open sea. The trip wasn’t a waste, though. I got a lot of good footage and took some stills, like the one above. I also walked two and a half miles today, a mile and a half on Governor’s Island.

I had a swiss cheese omelette this morning with rye toast. I have not eaten anything since then, but I will probably order Chinese food soon. Tomorrow I was going to shoot some video, but I need a rest, so I plan to take the day off. It will be hard. I have to really work at resting. If anybody sees me doing anything, slap me please.

October 6, 2010

I’m Way Too Tired

Filed under: Eat Less; Move More — bigfatqueer @ 10:04 pm

I have been working longer hours and my weekends have been spent shooting and editing video for the last couple of weeks. I need a day to just sit and unwind. Maybe this weekend, although I do want to shoot a couple of things. We’ll see.

The thing about work, though, is that it is going to get busier for me until the beginning of next year. There is a lot going on. I would go into more detail, but I have always made an effort to put a firewall between my online life and my job.

The problem with this is trying to stay healthy. There are so many things I want to do in addition to my job that I don’t get much rest trying to cram everything in. I wind up getting less sleep, which always makes it harder for me to manage my eating. Limited time makes it easy to eat readily available crap. I have had off days and on days in the last couple of weeks. Today was pretty good. I took food to work rather than pick something up. I had Greek yogurt and fruit late morning. Mid afternoon I had some mixed nuts/pumpkin seeds and a glass of V8. Tonight I had a peanut butter and banana sandwich on rye and some tomato basil soup with coconut milk, curry powder and Sriracha.

I walked two miles today. An extra half mile was added to what I planned since roadwork was being done at 79th Street and Riverside Drive and I had to walk extra (up a steep hill) to get to a bus stop that was functioning.

Now I am going to have a cocktail and go to bed. I probably will not be able to blog as frequently as I would like for a couple of months. Not only are time and energy limited, but when I work all the time I get really boring. If you follow my videos lately you may have noticed I’m posting footage of New York scenery rather than vlogging. By the time I get home I have nothing interesting to say, except I’m way too tired 🙂

October 3, 2010

How Chicken McNuggets are Made

Filed under: Eat Less; Move More — bigfatqueer @ 11:34 am
Tags: , ,

Tantalizing, huh?

Check out this blog post about the process.

October 2, 2010

Terror on the GWB

George Washington Bridge, originally uploaded by FantasticBabblings.

Today I went to the George Washington Bridge to shoot some footage for my river project. I had planned this for a couple of weeks and the weather was perfect, as you can see in this picture I took today.

I have a mild fear of heights. I can be high up, but I just can’t look straight down a sheer drop off without some vertigo and uneasiness. But it usually isn’t too bad. I did okay as long as I stayed on the side of the walkway that was not nearest the edge. Fortunately that is the side pedestrians are supposed to be on, bicycles on the other.

I had only planned to walk half way. It’s a long way across. At over 600 feet high, the GWB is much higher than the Brooklyn Bridge, which is only 135 feet at the highest point. It is lower than the Golden Gate, which is 746 feet, and I have walked across it as well. About a third of the way out, past the tower on the Manhattan side, there was a recess off the bike path closer to the edge of the bridge. There was a cluster of support poles I could lean against to steady the camera and so I would feel a bit more secure. But I didn’t. Being near the edge at that height with the water below me, I had a moment of panic and felt paralyzed and dizzy. I was able to pull it together and grope my way around to the other side and start walking back. I have never had such a severe response. My phobias are usually quite mild.

The whole time I had been thinking about Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers student who jumped off the bridge last week. If you aren’t familiar with the name, Tyler was a student at Rutgers who was videotaped by his roommate in a sexual encounter with another man. I don’t know what other issues he was dealing with, but being near where he jumped (I don’t know exactly which part of the bridge; I suspect nobody does) I could not imagine what depths of despair he must have been in to cross that emotional threshold. The thought of jumping still makes me shiver. We all need to be kinder to each other.

Sorry to get so down, but that is what has been on my mind since this afternoon. I haven’t blogged for over a week. I had a very busy week at work and I also didn’t eat particularly well. No pig-out, but mostly take-out food and not enough fruits and vegetables.

This morning I had two poached eggs on rye toast. Tonight I am having Buffalo wings and a salad. I walked two and a half miles today. I will try to focus on doing better this week. I actually like healthy food more than unhealthy, but as I’ve said here before, it takes effort. When you’re busy and don’t have much extra time or energy, it is so easy to get some crap delivered.

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